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How Much Do You Undervalue Yourself?

Mark "S" for any of the statements below if they are ever true of you or if you have ever held this view, no matter how irrational or unpleasant the view may seem. "S" stands for a "state" you can get into now and then.

Mark "T" for any of the statements below if they are often true of you. "T" stands for items that describe a "trait," a more fixed part of your personality.

Take time to reflect before leaving an item to look past your self-protections and see if it might, after all, be true of you. Especially if your very first response was yes, stick to it even if you don’t like it.

Answer each question independently. Do not worry if you seem to be contradicting earlier answers.

S T Statement
____ ____
You do not believe it when people say they like you.
____ ____
You look down or away when face to face with another person.
____ ____
You are thinking about who's better than who - prettier, richer, brighter, has the best ideas or best car - even when you are fairly sure others are not thinking like this.
____ ____
You have to please others and keep them happy at all costs.
____ ____
You see yourself as inferior, even when you know objectively that you could be seen as an equal.
____ ____
When you're criticized, you hardly consider the source. Your day is ruined.
____ ____
You fear speaking, even when you know you have a good idea.
____ ____
Your posture is head down, shoulders rounded.
____ ____
In a restaurant, you have trouble complaining about something any reasonable person would not like.
____ ____
You feel like an imposter.
____ ____
When you are the appointed or natural leader (parent, teacher, etc.), you expect to have trouble getting respect.
____ ____
When someone says, "We have a problem," you immediately fear that you caused it or will be blamed.
____ ____
You cannot see how you could have stood up for yourself in a situation until later.
____ ____
You expect to lose before you begin.
____ ____
You worry about losing your job even when there is no objective reason for your fear.
____ ____
People say you lack confidence.
____ ____
You expect people not to be interested in you when they meet you.
____ ____
A best friend or committed partner can make you feel jealous or insecure, even though you know you come first.
____ ____
You easily feel ashamed of what you've just said, your appearance, your family or past, or who you date.
____ ____
You have sex mainly because you fear the person will not like you if you refuse.
____ ____
When you want someone to stop doing something, you cannot bring it up with the person.
____ ____
You hesitate to ask for what you need.



Add the number of statements you marked with an "S," for a state you can get into now and then. Add the number of statements you marked with a "T," to acknowledge a trait, a fixed part of your personality. There is no normal score here, but 10 or more Ss and 2 or more Ts would indicate considerable undervaluing.